In August of 1998 a young woman from the small town of Burladingen-Hausen, in the Swabian Alb region of south-west Germany, signed the guest book on my web site. In the year that followed, and despite the considerable age difference between us, through our many e-mails, phone calls and on-line chats, we developed what I believed at the time to be very deep feelings for each other, and we met in person for the first time in August of 1999. Just over one year later, she was to betray my trust and my love for her in the most cynical and heartless way, having asked me to leave all I had for her sake, in order that we might live together. She left me alone, shocked, and traumatised by the discovery that someone I thought I knew could act in such a totally ruthless and uncaring fashion. When I travelled to Germany in July of 2001 to try to see her for a short time, and to try to make sense of the events of six months beforehand, I was told that "no-one wants you here", despite the genuine welcome and love which she had always received on each occasion when she visited my own country. She refused to see me for any length of time, and suggested that I should change my flight plans, and leave Germany the very next day! Since my flight could not be re-arranged, and I had hired a car for a full week, I decided to stay, notwithstanding her anger and antagonism towards me, and during those seven days I travelled extensively throughout the Swabian Alb region, meeting many genuinely friendly and helpful German people who were very tolerant of the basic knowledge of their language which I had managed to acquire before embarking on my journey. The experience of finding such kindness and cordiality after such a traumatic beginning to my holiday helped to restore my badly-shaken faith in human nature, as you may well understand...:) Perhaps, as one might say in Anja's own language: "Wissen ist alles"... Knowledge is everything. Long after she had abandoned me to my fate, and after much searching for an explanation of her devastating change in attitude, a friend of mine with a degree in psychology, after I had related our story to her, happened to remark that Anja's behaviour sounded like Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a condition by which someone who will supply the Narcissist with praise and adulation is carefully nurtured and "fed from" for a time, during an idealisation stage, until a process known as "devaluation" is initiated, at which time this person is summarily discarded and humiliated, since they are of no further benefit in providing the "Narcissistic Supply", which is the very life-blood of the classical Narcissist. She went on to explain to me that the condition is not considered by experts in psychology to be a mental illness of any kind, but a deliberate and free choice, perhaps influenced by certain factors in early childhood. For those interested in reading more on the subject, and the terrible damage which N.P.D. is capable of inflicting on others, you can read more about it here. So, bearing in mind what I have said in the preceding paragraphs, I present for your consideration and critical judgement a selection of the many e-mails which Anja used in order to entice me into her dysfunctional and totally selfish life. In reading them you will see for yourself the sweet, sentimental, yet ultimately meaningless promises and assurances which drew me into falling in love with what turned out to be nothing more than a "Doppelgänger" of the real woman...An idealised and carefully-presented false image of the person behind the mask. In effect, she lied to me not only with her words, but with her body as well, each time we made love, and those times were many. Anja's performance each time she was with me must surely merit an Oscar nomination for best actress, notwithstanding a lack of any training in the profession, and on this account it seems that she and I have certain matters of personal honour outstanding. She was the most beautiful, most charming, most convincing, and most believable liar I have ever met...Mein Prinzessin der Schwaerzung ...My Princess of Darkness.

From: "ANJA KEINATH / OEB-STUDENTIN" Organization: FH Stuttgart HBI Date: Tue, 11 Jul 2000 16:03:22 MEST Subject: Oh, I MISS YOU! Priority: normal X-mailer: Pegasus Mail for Windows (v3.12b) Hi love..............:) Loved to talk with you just the same, even though, since hanging up the phone, it was almost impossible NOT to dial your number again! *GRRRRRRRR*. Most unfair, I dare say! The more we talk the harder it gets not to talk..........**laughing** etc, etc..... Oh well, have to go..... I'll miss you terrible tonight, which I hope you know already..... :(((((((((((((( Will try to write tomorrow, love.... Yours, Anja. From: "ANJA KEINATH / OEB-STUDENTIN" Organization: FH Stuttgart HBI Date: Tue, 27 Jun 2000 18:23:45 MEST Subject: Missing you TOO much! Priority: normal X-mailer: Pegasus Mail for Win32 (v3.12b) Hi, me again..........:) Thanks, love, for the little lunch-mail you sent this afternoon.. I was very pleasantly surprised to find something from you in the mailbox just a few minutes ago when I wanted to "finish" my own little hello to you after the seminar. Oh, WHY can you not be there when I come home or I not know that you'd be coming home (to me) soon, hmm? Hate to go home to an empty room, with only the choice between reading and studying and trying not to think of you. Okay, I also have to take a shower and eat something, or I could phone somebody, but it is just not the same.... If I could phone YOU, that would be better. But I know we cannot do this every day.. (but then, why not? ***desperate look**). Guess we are just too much used to the great feeling of talking with each other so often, aren't we? Yet, it seems impossible without even these little "meetings"....:( etc, etc.... Hmm, and now I should really leave to catch the next bus, but I CAN'T! Can't leave you again.......... These days and nights are so lonely without you, you know....:(((( Why can I not have at least an e-mail account for free at my home in Stuttgart?! Then we could chat on ICQ every night... Well, it wouldn't cost more than a telephone call, I think..... Oh...I HAVE to go.... Will write again tomorrow, okay, if I survive this night....(!!!) Take care, my love, make sure you get enough sleep (YES!) and enjoy tomorrow as much as possible. After all, it is already Wednesday then! I'll see you......... Think of me, hmm? **smiling** Yours, Anja. PS: X...X....!!! PPS: Miss you terribly, you know....:(((((( From: "M******.K*****@swol.de (M****** K******) Subject: Me again...:) Date: Sun, 11 Jun 2000 00:22:39 +0200 X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.00.2919.6600 Hi again......:) Sorry for the sudden end of my little afternoon-mail, darling, my brother needed to write e-mail quite urgently (by the "atmosphere" he was surrounded with), so I thought it wiser to let him do so at once (politics, you see?**grin**). etc, etc..... Well, my dearest love, as you are supposed to read a least a small letter from me tonight I will send this one immediately to you... Think of me at times, won't you, and remember how much I miss you.... And how much you mean to me.......**smile** Love, Anja. PS: HEY! Please don't try to convert your poor little R2D2-robot-alarm into an alarm-STUNGUN!!! I NEED you, you know, what would I do IF you accidentally got the formula for the voltage WRONG?! **laughing** From: "ANJA KEINATH / OEB-STUDENTIN" Organization: FH Stuttgart HBI Date: Mon, 20 Dec 1999 14:07:31 MEST Subject: Hi there.... Just a little hello from somebody who misses you like crazy! Priority: normal Hi again, Love....:) Did I mention yesterday afternoon that I had been HOPING you'd take up your phone and dial my number? No?! Hmmm, must have been one of those memory losses then....**smile** Although I know that it costs a fortune I was still "kind of " hoping that a "miracle" would happen. Not that I really believed you'd phone, but it is always nice to think of it, you know, because then I'd start to day-dream what we might talk of. Hey.... I miss you. Especially during these "quiet" days as you described them, with the snow outside and the candles in the houses....:( Well, my love......... I shall have to finish this little letter now, even though it is the last thing in the world I want to do at the moment! LOL It was great to hear your voice yesterday. Great to hear you laugh. Think that's what I miss the most.... Have a great day over there, despite the dreadful "stock check" you have to go through!!!! I'll think of you... (**laughing** Just as always) Yours, Anja. From: "M******.K*****@t-online.de (M****** K******) Subject:None! LOL Date: Thu, 30 Dec 1999 23:19:55 +0100 X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.00.2314.1300 Hi...:) Hmm... not so much to write today, I'm afraid **smile**. I long for my bed, to be honest, for a few pages of "Emma" and a hot water-bottle! (And for you, of course, but a thousand times more!). Before we all step into the new millennium (although it is NOT the new millennium yet, of course, but nobody cares about that) I shall certainly write again tomorrow, okay? Hope you were having a nice day... And I'll keep my fingers crossed for tomorrow night! I'm sure you'll have a great time after all...**smile** Love, Anja. PS: Did I tell you lately how very much I miss looking into your eyes?

Important Note and Disclaimer: The material contained herein is presented for the purpose of information only, and should be considered as such. Part of the aforesaid material is compiled from personal experience, and some is based on the voluntary professional opinion of a third party with qualification and expertise in the field of psychology. No animosity, grievance or accusation against any person or persons should be taken as being expressed, implied, or otherwise intended from the content of this web site.